(((actually…)))
something about Twitch streaming Beat Saber — ideally some combo of body movement and gameplay visuals like split screen or picture-in-picture, which already sounds complicated, and i’m aiming for more of a “rec-ording this with a cell phone on an end table because that’s what’s here now.” vibe, in general, for the body movement component at least.
if it gets too complex or I’m-mediately requires a lot of new gear or moving parts, i probably won’t do it.
aaanyway...
something about doing such a stream/livestream whatever being a certain type of vulnerable in being a potential source of public humiliat-ion, similar to the website, but associated much more with the body than the mind, in both cases essentially saying “here’s a body and a mind doin’ their ((its)) stuff, havin’ a time, but that’s all it is…”
like that would maybe be a perpetual caption on the videos/streams — “just a body hav-in’ a time…”…
realizing the thinking behind this. it seems there’s some association both with vulnerability be-ing (both) beneficial in some way ((while also potentially risky)) and represented by performing or sharing things typically considered “private”.
the website, where this is most likely potentially being read right now, is just a mind’s version of here’s something that doesn’t/wouldn’t usually see light, recognizing the risks of a varying array of re-sponses if any while attempting to maintain some focus on comfort with uncomfortable, acceptance of potential feelings like humiliation or shame or whatever else…
there’s certainly fear, but an unknown sort of attraction as well, perhaps as if they represent a sort of severing of perceived “cords” of identification with mind and body. both ultimately pointing out that no matter how much is put on display, i will never be known, not because no one will ever know all of it, but because none of it is me. and yet i am all there is to it…
thinking and doing with a body and a mind.
thinking, sensing, perceiving — phenomena…
breathing…
noticing…
being…
open, aware, present (thunder rolls (Garth Brooks song))…
what-ever is…
nothing excluded…
here…
now…
this…
… an unconditional yes to experiencing…
… you already are… 💕
i already am…
one already is…
💕
no change in this experience has any affect on who or what I am, though it may have clear effects on the body and/or mind.
who I am is not altered/alterable by the apparent comings and goings of time and space…
hot take: “you already are exactly who you actually (let’s say including various “levels” of consciousness for example) think you are right now.”
but is that all you are?
is who you actually are actually who you think you are?