(((following…)))

“led by the pen” is the thought that seems to have initiated this in the midst of not really feeling like writing and/or not really having an idea of what to write.
e-mail glitches, Facebook presence uncertain-ty, shopping compulsions, mild sugar binge aftermath, coffee (now just an empty cup needing to be washed), yard work (some time this week at least if not today), and whatever else is floating around awaiting its moment in the light…
tired of thinking; tired of the most in-teresting thing (i have) going right now, but the idea of any true respite from thought is also at least a bit unnerving. this idea of keeping the mind occupied, even if only with itself. worrying about losing any sense of self, relationship, responsibility in a true absence of (or complete relinquishment of attachment to) thought/thinking, worrying itself being a product of such attachment.
time for… nothing, really.
space…
stillness…
silence…
some other book? show? movie? snack?
what more information, entertainment, indulgence is needed? but the indulgence of attention (e.g. distraction) ((is)) like the equivalent of causing the train wreck that i then tell myself “i can’t look away” from.
perhaps that’s a bit too “negative Nancy” about attention — it just does what it does. maybe even the following ((of)) it into such indulgences is simply another part of the way things are.
maybe it’s the effort to steer at all that seems most tiring — an effort comprised entirely of more of this very same…

thinking, sensing, perceiving — phenomena…

breathing…
noticing…
being…

open, aware, present…
whatever is…
nothing excluded…
here…
now…
this…
(nearly all of the above written while inundated(sp? proper use of the word?) with other thoughts clamoring(sp?) to interrupt)

being is…

… an unconditional yes to experiencing…
(one word, one letter, one moment in/at a time…

💕