(((silence…)))

(not sure whether or not “silence” has been used as a title yet… and suddenly not sure i care, but the title may yet change…)

attempting to write left-handed… ((not sure there’s a good font to represent this, nor how it could be implemented to affect only that single line)) not too bad, but took (seemed to take) a relatively long time and great focus whereas this… a breeze almost…
coffee is actually hot still (probably. let’s check… yep. perfect.).
Pantheon, the movie (((series))), came up recently during a family night (subjectively awesome movie, by the way) and today the word arose again, this time framed in the context of potential use of the so-named media platform (about which very little is currently consciously known)((it’s also been mentioned in some unrecalled SubStack accounts)).
basically, i think i just like the word ((even though i don’t remember exactly what it means, though i’m confident that i have looked it up before and enjoyed the definition at the time)), and maybe the sense of (apparent) connection between otherwise (seemingly) unrelated events…
also words like coherence, synchronicity, flow, and such.
same during the game (BeatSaber); so much meaning and connection ascribed to various words and feelings, generally telling a story of some form of specialness, uniqueness, distinction, separation, even if only in awareness, like “i think i do and don’t “see” something you only don’t “see”.”
the evoking of the feelings associated with such feelings thoughts can be pure delight as well as perpetually isolating (don’t know why the use of “perpetually” there), and both offer interesting experiences…

there’s a pause here…

something about…
acceptance of aloneness?
joy in experiencing anyway?
aloneness in the sense that if the ((this)) does ultimately boil down to “one” something or other (love this phrase here! (smile)((😊))) then such “one” essentially ((“))exists((“)) alone.
what else to do with “one’s” complete, total, whole, infinite, sol-itary “existence” than to dream a potentially infinite reality?
not sure where this is/was going…
if there was some intention…

coffee’s still low-end of hot, high-end of warm…

thinking about silence repeatedly over the last few days or so — the (simultaneous) attraction and aversion to, the somewhat logical sense that it makes relative to certain (perceived/inherent) limitations of language (words), to the ((imagined potential for)) the “positive” and “negative” it might encourage, as if it was a “silence strike” of some sort ((though one could easily “make it” about such), to the potential that it’s just another way to ((be)) “do((ing)) something”, to engage((ing)) more fully by partially disengaging and lov-ing the irony/contradiction in that, the willingness to speak when “appropriate” and wondering when that will be and what will be said, and the wond-ering about writing and whether or not it might continue unobstructed or be modified in some way both as a tool and a practice…
wandered off a bit…

<<need to pee, but trying to finish this last paragraph…>>

thoughts, sensations, perceptions — phenomena…

breathe. notice. rest in awareness…
(what is the experience of true silence? even the body generates (represents?) subtle sounds…
breathe.
relax something…)

open, aware, present… whatever is happening (this)… nothing excluded (this)… here/now/this…

… an unconditional (hi, D. (whispered to the nearby cat)) yes to experiencing it/at all…
(coffee still medium/high warm (smile)((😊))…)

<<made it!>>

(((i was thinking of the Patreon media platform the whole time 😂 (still keeping it all free, though, if it ends up happening)…)))