(((the tea is still warm! 🤯)))

<morning routines (cat-food clean(space?)up, dishwasher, critter food (squirrels & birds mostly, but this morning (also) a chipmunk and a couple of chickens, and sometimes a couple of different blue (one word? ((yep))) jays bluejays visit), litter box maintenance, even a little laundry into the dryer) except vitamins and tea…
“those can come after exercise” i kinda remember thinking at some point even though that’s simply how the morning was unfolding…
(don’t forget morning opening (idea about having it at the end instead — we’ll see…))
Sherri on a call with her mom while charging her phone near the the general area in which exercise typically occurs…
“not in a hurry; no need to disturb her. just work on something else.”
that’s pretty much how it began with a later kind of “oh, i should wait to do tea so it’s not steeping for however long it (typically) takes for all that other stuff to get done, plus i’m still gonna exercise and then the made tea would just be sitting there for another 20-something minutes. and i’d rather workout on an empty stomach, so the vitamins can wait, too, and i can maybe work on all that while the water is heating up and/or the tea is steeping.”
a plan forming — adaptation to presenting…

<<cat pee cleanup, trash to the garage, bathroom break, mixed nuts, afternoon vitamins, and a bit of apple cider vinegar…>>

… circumstances… woo! ((🤩))
all this while still actively picking up cat food, washing dishes, scooping litter boxes, etc.
exercise now not at the beginning of routines as is typical, not at the end as has occurred at least once before, but smack in the middle.
“what the hell is goin’ on around here? (laughing emoji)((😂))” is clearly recalled, and something like “everything is going crazy!”
not sure now if that last thought occurred before or after considering and apparently deciding to place the tea in the refrigerat-or immediately after steeping, basically embracing the probability that i would end up caught up in writ-ing this which i apparently am because guess where the tea still is… (laughing emoji)((😂)) complete…>

thoughts, sensations, perceptions — phenomena…
(impressed with myself for remembering… ((😎)))

breathe. notice. rest in awareness…
(noticing i didn’t exactly do the remembering; memor-ies just came…)

open, aware, present… whatever is happening… nothing excluded… here/now/this…
(watching the hand shift and drift across the page, the little micro movements of hand and finger muscles being for sure sub-unconsciously controlled…
how does it do this? how do these fingers just now (seemingly?) know how to create these symbols representing sounds re-lated to patterns and meanings?
i’m not ((knowingly)) thinking “hey index, you do this while thumb, you do this and that’s how we’ll begin to form the beginning of this letter…)

being is enough… (laughing emoji)((😂))

… an unconditional yes to experiencing it/at all…

((and now here we are… together… (((and i love you)))…
gonna go get some iced green tea now… (“what the hell is goin’ on around here?!” (laughing emoji)((😂)))))

((title idea: “the tea is still warm! (mind blown)((🤯))” (laughing)((😂))))

consistently unsure about including togetherness and love concepts. not that they aren’t meant, but ((in part, at least)) because of the separation they imply — two things coming together; subject and other subject.
what is meant is that you are seen, experienced, as… (a part of?) me, basically, in so far (one word?) ((yep)) insofar as that all that this body can seems to be able to experience directly are its translations and interpretations of, and thoughts about sensory information. so what i end(s) up being seeing is mostly the brain’s interactive integrated perception/perspective.

in other words, arguably perhaps, i don’t ever quite knowingly experience you as you.
it seems more accurate to say what is experienced is whatever the senses are communicating and thoughts about that information.

you elicit an experience within me of you ((…))
((…)) but all that is ever directly experienced is “my” or “this” self.

so whatever that this experience is that you elicit, for me is i love it.

i see you as a part of, some aspect of, essential to, the same as, one with, me…
that is what is meant by ‘togetherness’ and ‘i love you’.

and whatever the rest of you is within, be-neath, behind whatever is can be/is being experienced directly, that you is loved, too.

((ended up getting to enjoy some iced tea after all))

something like a memory of a wish to see you as you do, how you do, through your eyes even, so i could love that it (you) too. totally. everything.

(not necessarily liking everything, if we’re being honest, but loving? yes, absolutely.)

(and then wondering “what about me?”)

((lol (laughing)((😂))… liking everything all the time? not necess-arily... but loving? of course. always. even when it may not (necessarily) seem so…))

<iced tea finished.>