(((dis-ease…)))

caught up in the experience of “trying to decide whether or not to start writing while the tea cools” (link? “cooling tea”?) when an opportunity to cuddle a cat (Zeke (link? “this morning”?) creating a disturbance in the kitchen for attention) presented it-self leaving little remaining question as to the best and most appropriate choice…
and the tea is much more tolerable now…
(“worth a little pain (heat) for the pleasure (warmth, flavor, familiarity))

tea is finished, and mind remains in the throws(sp?) of what would likely be most commonly referred(one “r”?) to as anxiousness or anxiety, most consistently themed as circumstances and potential outcomes surrounding pertaining to an upcoming (a few hours at this point) physical evaluation during which full and accurate descriptions of sensations associated with specific “conditions” ((are expected)) and the concern arising along with such an expectation about the ab-ility to provide such, particularly as this so-called “anxiousness” subjectively increases…
might i become un-helpfully brief or silent? what then? the written “back-up” description? only if they choose to use it, which is not required…
aaanyway...

it’s amazing what can be accomplish-ed kinda without the mind (since it was busy with the above while all the morning routines and and tea drinking were happening…
except cuddling Zeke — that was just cuddling Zeke…)…

thoughts, sensations, perceptions — phenomena…

breathe. notice. rest in awareness…
(what about describ-ing anxiousness?… the full-body and yet with travel-ing areas of concentration tingle and tension in the presence of fear and uncertainty? or any variety of ((“))messages((“)) from the body being perceived as “some-thing is wrong!” “this is not okay!” or at least “this is not normal!” or “this is not familiar!” or “the potential (subjectively negative) out(-)comes would represent (assumed likely) sub-stantial changes and ((would)) likely require significant life-style modification.”)

open, aware, present… whatever is happening… nothing included (laugh)((😂))… here/now/this…
(“nothing is also happening”)
(love you)

being is enough…
(“thought i was done there for a sec”)

… an unconditional yes to experiencing it/at all…
(there we go…)

(love you)