(((something…)))

coffee tastes different now without the Brazil nut first. still good (link?)((i don’t remember what i wanted to link to)), but perhaps a little less ((“))smooth((“)) coming after a semi-sweet berry flav-ored powdered greens drink (link?)((i’ll have to go look for that one…)).
had another over-the-kitchen-sink moment amidst morning routines. many little procedural interruptions (two r’s?). conversation with Sherri about versatility with such interruptions… like a branch falling in the river; what is interrupted? water just goes around.
… an interrupting conversation about interrupting and the little variances it creates — the different (even if only slightly) wake-up times each day, coffee or tea (different prep-times and therefore varied timing-placement options within other morning routines; how many trips to the garage (trash, recycling, cat litter)? old cat dishes picked up so Sherri can have a clean slate and so they can soak for a bit before going into the dishwasher…

<got up to send the robot vacuum home, realized uncertainty about time and set an alarm so as not to get lost…>

<<spent some time with family until they left just now…>>

… then feed the outside critters so they don’t have to wait, ideally with any trash that need be taken out already collected and in-hand (as long as such could be done quickly), unless there’s cat pee, poo, or throw-up somewhere; that’s pretty hit or miss, but see what i mean, though?
dishes put away, a few new dishes (more for coffee), cleaning up cat food mess if Sherri is still busy actually feeding them (again, only sometimes goes that way or varies in degree), and still none of this is the over-the-kitchen-sink moment. that was something about words and meanings like “what would i say or do if i had no idea what anyone was saying?” like “what if the only language i understood was my own?” and then “that’s kind of how it is, given all the (potential?) layered and varied meanings of even simple words (like love? shh… not right now), in other words, we never really truly know what exactly anyone else is saying…” and “it’s a verbal reprocessing of your words into my own meanings, many of which we simply assume are shared, in other ((words)), i know what i think ((you)) mean at most, and at best it might be close.
(what about feelings? that’s a little different at a glance, maybe… a little more obvious overlap (that’s subjective. meanings of words clearly have that too or communication would be impossible, right?), so, subjectively at least, harder to identify clear boundaries with feelings; fuzzier, hazier(sp?), messy-er(ier?), thicker (denser?), and yet often less visible… i still don’t think this is the over-the-kitchen sink moment, exactly… it might be close, but…
(boom, nailed it! (sunglasses)((😎)))

thoughts, sensations, perceptions — phenomena…

breathe. notice. rest in awareness…
(just remembered the coffee((…)) (link?))

open, aware, present… whatever is happening… nothing excluded… (know that i am at peace)… here/now/this…
(that seems well-intended but perhaps ominous-sounding)
(and raises the question “who is at peace?”(()))

<A Lovely Day alarm going off…>

((what is peace even? Balance? equilibrium? and who’s asking?))

(((imagine a field of light (particles/waves?) and within this field innumerable (thank you spellcheck) lenses transparent, weightless, edgeless, borderless, immaterial, inseparable and indistinguishable from light itself, and yet somehow capable of reflecting light around and at each other… (what magic!)
now just add the material, the physical back in and wadda’ya got?

((((what is peace? balance? equilibrium, equanimity, all perfect? what else is that but stillness? silence?))))

(((((what does it feel like to try to stop moving?)))))

((((((and what/why/how would such peace/silence/stillness inquire?))))))

!(((((((is there (ever) a truly motionless space/place somewhere anywhere between contractions of the heart?)))))))!

((((((((how about “any movement in nothing would instantly become and always be (the source of) everything (except nothing is somehow also actually the source…”?)))))))))