(((happening…)))
not sure how to remember to drink coffee while still hot once writing has begun (other than not beginning writing until it’s done). set some number-of-minutes alarms on the (my?) phone? overkill maybe?
“take it as it comes” appears more than once…
and it seems the writing has begun…
<sip…>
(it’s a blend today of two rather distinct medium roast decaf (organic, i think, and with some kind of swiss-water thing i know almost nothing about; something to do with mold (maybe((?))) according to Sherri…
aaanyway…)
<sip…>
… whole-bean coffee (so many labels!) ground together and brewed as a single serving which rest((s)) next to me now.
i also at a Brazil nut before the first sip (which doesn’t usu-sally occur (not the unusual break(s) in usu-(s)ally (well that was a whole cluster of shit wasn’t it((?))))) ((and)) which offered new notes to the flavor.
the potential for such an experience seems to have been realized just before the Brazil nut was consumed, raising excitement about a near-future event.)
<sip…>
this coffee is delicious. subjective opinion, obviously. but is it, though? actually delicious? or have i perh-aps convinced myself top think it so in order to support its inclusion in routines, being motivated by perceptions/beliefs about its benefits —awake-ness, settling, grounding, warmth, coziness, anchor((ing)), routine, experience. why would i want to or let myself believe something like that was gross((?))
so maybe there is some objective measure somewhere by which it is disgusting or whatever… so what?
aaanyway...
BeatSaber. telling more stories while playing of the personal meaning((s)) of the lyrics and themes, sometimes effectively imagining an in-game-only existence with no physical body — trippy…
<sip…>
thinking leading up to something like “nothing is actually happening right now; everything and no-thing (another fun unintentional line ((word)) break) is (maybe can only ever be happening right now…” which led to… (past from phone)
"nothing is happening
everything and nothing happening now
“reality,” as being subjectively experienced presently, is essentially being generated and experienced by an electromagnetic-field-emitting, biochemical producing muscle, if we are to ascribe to such a…
living in its own “imagination,” “dream,” “perception” of reality as it ((were, technically)) actually is…"
… while in the kitchen after-ward (unintentional space there <— filled with a hyphen)
<sip an-d (did it again!) rereading…>
the imagination muscle (hm… cute. (smile)((😊)))
something about “slivers of reality” and/or “pieces of truth” and/or “only ever experiencing what we think about our little bit of reality.”
that somehow led to concepts (which, now that i think of it, might tie back into yesterday’s “what am i really saying?” bit) and some loose conclusion-seeming thoughts like “if all of this is simply a manifest-ation (don’t know why that word break is fun, but it is) of an undivided whole, the(n) nothing is kind of is happening.” “what is movement if not relative to form (substance) in space?” “what undivided; undivided what? universe? why is this pen trying to die now? why does it seem to keep finding 2nd, 3rd, 4th winds?”
<conversation with Sherri, sip…, come on pen!…>
concepts… and how, like, even to say “no thinking is not concept” is a concept; concept itself is a concept ((there’s a word (concept) for when a word is the thing it describes…
<<looking it up… >>
… autological!)), as is this concept of it being so…
just…
truth? love? peace? happiness? technically as made-up as literally everything else probably…
god? satan? heav-en? hell? grace? sin? I mean are can any of those be said to be not concepts as written, spoken, imagined?
(even memory is being imag-ined in the present (<— concept))
come on pen!!…
<sip…>
(flavor changes as room temperature integration ((acclimation)) approaches… conceptual? sure. but experientially? mmm…)
and if the whole thing is some sort of imagining or conceptualization, why not ((imagine or conceive of)) stuff like truth, love, reality, wholeness, oneness, peace, whatever?
and what about just no concepts at all? is it truly nothing that remains? what does, if any…?
(pen made it… (relief)((😮💨😅))
<sip…>
<<bathroom break, stretching, cat scratching, and washing a shaker bottle from a protein shake consumed a while ago (somewhere in the middle of all of this)…>>
couple of gulps, actually…
all of this is just more thinking, more conceptualizing, both of which are concepts… even this…
love? peace? (yes… but) experientially…? (heart-face)((🥰))… “real enough…”)
had to lick and shake the pen… great job, pen! i love you.
(other concepts: universe, infinite, existence, non-existence, everything, nothing, good, bad, right, wrong, separation, distinction, difference, hate, time, space, matter, human, person, life, death, etc. etc.)
this pen though! damn!! clutch… (high-five, sunglasses)((🙌😎))
((there are no points to/for/of (any of) this…))
(((… aaaand forgot the whole opening again…)))