(((the day before…)))
attempting to describe the flavor of green tea:
two stories
dead-hang pull-up
bittersweet - Sherri already fed the birds - is everything (not?) a little of both?
Zeke’s eye drops
ant mass genocide (is mass genocide redundant? whatever… it sounds BIG)
phone in the kitchen on purpose
sleeping in… (5:15am coding this website (😳😆)
exercising second - weird! writing this before i start — it’s already after 10am, and i still have to mow and weed-whack today…
alright… i’ll be back… maybe… (😂)
“improvised yoga” 😂
okay, now time for BeatSaber…
set timer - go!
timer paused with 15 minutes remaining…
Whatever It Takes again, Expert+, practice mode, 60%…
feelings in the body - the slow-mo dance of it
seems like a little lifetime at this speed — only half way through?!
convince me that i’m not hearing the (whole?) universe in every note, every word…
peripheral vision! (from this morning); every spark of fire, every drop of ocean, every grain of earth; not just see, but really look…
okay… back to exercise… 😂🙄
9:07 minutes to go… 😂🙄
this would usually be journaling time… maybe that’s why all of this… 😂
Thunder (Imagine Dragons), still expert+, still 60%…
more dancing, more ‘universe speaking/singing/dancing” thoughts, but like, in a sort of rational-seeming way, but also certain the ego loves the idea of feeling one with the universe…
missed a little complex collection of notes right then…
if the universe is speaking, is that like a sign to stop thinking so? 😂
dwell on the irony of that for a bit - (a part of, let’s say) the universe thinking about itself as universe (which it is made of) and questioning whether or not thinking about itself as itself is correct or healthy… believing and doubting… no (clear) line… ends of one thing. (convince me otherwise?) 🤔
okay… back to -interval- exercise… 😂
Believer (Imagine Dragons) then Tempo (Lizzo, Missy Elliot)… remembering experiencing a conscious decision to continue playing rather than writing all the things from Believer…
it may all be gone now, or may come up later…
exercise is finished, plus a couple of extra minutes… 😅
sitting now, having realized just moments ago that tea was made before exercise as part of the normal kitchen morning routine and has since just been sitting here… now just on the high-end of warm if it had to be described…
think i’ll actually drink it today, now…
(silently reciting “drinking tea” and “breathing”, thinking about writing about just thinking just “drinking tea” and “breathing”, and then actually writing about it, obviously 🙄😂)
okay… tea…
11:11am… hello? universe? 😂
while drinking tea (which is now finished):
“drinking tea” ”breathing” ”drinking tea” “breathing” “drinking tea” “breathing” “how would i describe the flavor? why?
((oooh! let’s hand write this part!) 🤩
…
attempting to describe the flavor of green tea: ((subtitle?))
thoughts, sensations, perceptions — phenomena…
breath, notice…
(remember to return to… aaaand it’s gone for now)
… rest in awareness…
(oh! the presence of writing! the way the mind wanders so often (of which this and all of this ((the preceding and the following)) represents and clearly demonstrates)
… “away from” what is actually happening, but then thinking is also actually happening. seemingly requiring a sort of inherent peripheral vision, like looking ((at)) a tree through a window, seeing Sherri though the back door moving around in the yard near the very edge of the peripheral vision…
seeing both things, but neither perfectly clearly and both are moving, changing…
to be able to see every (little) spark of fire, every (tiny?; small text! :))((😊)) drop of ocean, every grain of earth, to know every movement (settled on this word for now) ((whiff)) of air,…
<distracted…>
… every whatever of this universe…
perfect, complete, total, intimate, focus… on everything…
“what about all thoughts?” arises…
yes…
“even in recognition of their distraction?”
yes.
a thing that is a creation or an emergent property of a thing is really not a separate thing…
<strange scraping sound; investigating… nothing obvious found…>
open, aware, present… whatever is happening…
(including thinking, yes)
… nothing excluded… here/now/this…
(does excluding nothing mean everything must be written? of course not…
(remember the flavor of green tea…))
being is enough…
… an unconditional (hesitant smiley)((😬)) yes to experiencing it/at all…
the flavor of green tea:
seems like ages (pages) ago now…
a mild sweetness, brightly earthy with a gentle lasting bitterness that carries with it a bit of tartness — a sort of tingle. a smooth soft coating texture. mid-warm at the time.
not-exactly-small sips coating finding every surface with the same or similar profiles as above plus other ranges of flavors and notes i don’t have words for…
calming… refreshing, like the sensation of the smell of a rose (not its literal scent, but the sort of “ahhh… nice…” which it elicits).
that’s probably a pretty good run of it…
can still taste it a little bit…
anything else? let’s go back and check…
… so this is two pages so far (“to be transcribed eventually” says anticipation, “and the lawn still needs mowing, and (it’s) already 11:51am…”
guess that’s the answer to all of this…
let’s go see about breathing and mowing the lawn…